Are restaurants trying to hurt our feelings?

Are restaurants trying to hurt our feelings? It certainly felt that way during a quick bite on my honeymoon.
My husband and I were eager to get to the airport and start our newlywed life. We arrived super early and found ourselves at a nice airport restaurant — you know, the kind with a hostess waiting to greet you. We waited anxiously, expecting the familiar, “Hi, how can I help you?” Instead, when we got to our table, the real guest of honor stole the show: a QR code menu. With just a few taps, our order was sent off to the kitchen without a single word exchanged. The only human interaction we had was when our food magically appeared at the table.
This experience got me wondering: Is the rise of technology in dining diminishing the atmosphere of eating out? From QR menus to calorie counts, awkward swivel tipping and scripted interactions, it seems the industry is trying to hurt our feelings by pushing us further away from genuine connection.
Apparently, the pandemic hangover left QR menus in its wake. The polarizing epidemic has eliminated human interaction, leaving us to scroll mindlessly on our phones instead of squinting at greasy menu pages.
The Huffington Post reported, “‘Diners are there for the experience, conversation and atmosphere of the restaurant, and having to pull out a phone to browse a menu detracts from it,’ said chef Suhan Lee.”
Not to be overly dramatic, but some claim the rise of QR code menus pose a threat to civilization, ultimately leading to the continual hold technology has on humanity, per Menu Tiger.
“James Beard-nominated food writer Nylah Iqbal Muhammad said, ‘I detest QR code menus because they’re not actually helping the environment that much, and they’re super inaccessible to people without phones or older people who get frustrated by them. They also don’t contribute to a communal experience, which is the entire point of dining out,’ she said. ‘No phones at dinner as much as possible, please. We’re already taking pictures and posting them, answering emails and texts, and using them to fidget during awkward silences. Let’s not add ONE more reason to be on our phones during dinner,’” per HuffPost.
We live in a world where phones feel like third hands — something we’re overly attached to and can’t live without. Walk into any restaurant, and how often do you see a couple or a family, each person glued to their phone, absorbed in their own little world? Now, restaurants are encouraging the phone to be the first thing we look at when we sit down at the dinner table.
“Calorie labeling on menus can help you make informed and healthful decisions about meals and snacks. So, beginning May 7, 2018, calories will be listed on many menus and menu boards of restaurants and other food establishments that are part of a chain of 20 or more locations,” the Food and Drug Administration announced.
Unfortunately, some minds won’t look at the calorie labeling on menus as a way to make more informed and healthier decisions; they will twist the once-encouraging narrative into shame and guilt, not by choice, but by instinct.
Culture journalist Abha Ahad said, “I hate seeing the calorific values of meals on the menu. … I have struggled with disordered eating all my life and am a recovering bulimic. Once I see the number, it is very difficult to brush it off and focus on the experience. Every time I am at a place like this, I end up ordering something with a low calorific value and make a mental note never to go back,” per HuffPost.
According to Eater, culturally, we’ve gone through waves of the “ideal body image.” In the ’90s, the ideal aesthetic was labeled “heroin chic,” while the 2000s embraced midriffs and low-rise jeans. These fads and trends have contributed to a disordered relationship with eating.
Amanda Villescas, a dietitian nutritionist and eating counselor with the Radical Well-Being Center, said, “Unfortunately, for most, the word ‘calorie’ has taken on a negative connotation due to the pervasive message that eating ‘too many calories’ results in poor health and weight gain,” per Eater.
While it is important and a noble effort to equip consumers with accurate information, even the honorable cause can sometimes fester a toxic mindset.
“The constant highlighting of caloric content on menus reinforces toxic messaging around what it actually means to eat and be healthy,” Villescas said, per Eater.
I don’t mind being contentious about tipping for a service, but the awkward swivel of the screen and the uncomfortable eye contact from the cashier — especially when they can clearly see how much I’m tipping for the gum and Dramamine I grabbed myself — need to go.
It can’t just be me who freezes at the counter and feels frantic when that swivel screen turns, and you end up adding another $4.00 to your already ridiculous tab.
“I just feel like the tablet is staring into my soul,” Saad Kabir, a recruitment director for New York City public schools, told CNBC.
We may feel the wondering eyes behind us and the eager eyes in front of us in these situations, but etiquette experts say you aren’t breaking social rules if you decide not to tip.
According to Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Protocol, “When you have something delivered to you over the counter, as opposed to your door or your table, in those instances, you’re not required to tip,” per CNBC.
Have you ever been in a drive-thru where the classic script is performed in your honor, and when you give an unexpected answer, it leaves the employee confused and flustered?
I understand that a restaurant script can create a framework of consistency and professionalism in the workplace, but sometimes these scripts can come off as chaotic, awkward and disingenuous.
In order to create a genuine environment in the hospitality industry employees must master great authentic communication, according to hospitalitynet.org.
Life isn’t scripted, and authentic conversation usually happens on the fly.
According to a post on Tumblr by @starbucksbaristaconfessions, when working the drive-thru, employees must be very specific in their communication: “We are not allowed to ask ‘Anything else?’ It supposedly makes the customer feel rushed and uncomfortable.”
The post concludes, “DOESN’T THAT SOUND HECKA RUDE?!”